the experience of the wedding ceremony

出国之前在一个城市本科硕士读过7年,在另一个城市又工作了3年。但是不管在哪,总觉得自己是飘着的过客,没有归属感。现在慢慢觉得,开始喜欢起现在这个地方。

D的婚礼也许触动了我的这种心态变化。看到那些客人很真诚的祝福他们的人生,看到他们婚礼的那种紧张、激动和甜蜜,就觉得很感动。这个地方让人更好的理解了什么是真正的民主。民主不是少数人服从多数人,而是多数人尊重少数人的选择和生活方式,保护少数人的权益。

I have studied in one city for 7 years and have worked in another city for 3 years in China. However, I always felt that I was a stray bird flying between universities. From now on, I start to show my affinity for this land and feel a connection between me and it.

I believe that D’s wedding contribute a lot to my change. The guests who attended the wedding ceremony were so nice and open-minded. They blessed the new couple sencerely and warmly. It is here and now that I understand the statement: “The democracy is not concerning that the minority have to follow the majo ……

wedding day

wedding day

D和Alex结婚了。他们运气还挺好的。一整天的刮风下雨,就下午结婚典礼那会见缝插针的大太阳。

D只邀请了老板、几个同事和房东夫妇。结婚典礼不大,但是很温馨。证婚人宣读了一大段关于“婚姻、责任和美好未来”的证词,两个人用西班牙语对彼此讲誓言,交换戒指。整个过程两个人都是眼睛亮亮的,手紧紧的挽在一起。

希望他们永远幸福。

D and his bf were married this afternoon. They were very lucky and got good timing about the wedding ceremony. It has been raining and very windy for the whole day. However, it was beautiful sunshine for 3 hours in the afternoon so everything in the wedding ceremony went smoothly.

D only invited 11 people including lab mates, our supervisor and his landlords. The wedding ceremony was small but warm . It was so touching moment when they said the wedding vows to each other, holding hands together and looking at each other’s eyes. Definitely they are the happiest couple in the world.

Wish they can live happily ever after.

two things I believe after all these

1. Be a strong and complete person firstly. Consequently, you will meet another strong and complete person who can get along with you to live happily ever after.

1. 只有自己是完整的强大的,才能找到另外一个完整的人,和谐相处。

2. We love the world by means of loving the person. In another words, the precondition and the destination of loving the person is loving this world.

2. 我们爱一个人,是通过爱这个人的方式来爱这个世界。换句话说,爱一个人的前提和终点,是对这个世界的爱。

something for a friend, and something for myself.

作为一个归隐多年的知心大哥,老衲今天又破了嗔戒,教育了一个失恋以后一直不肯放手的期期艾艾的小朋友。

我跟他说,你要好好想清楚,把自己的一地碎片收拾干净。如果你没法拼出一个完整的自己,就不要对感情这件事抱希望。只有自己是完整的,才有机会去拥有一份稳定的有将来的感情。

一个人在感情里不能自拔,最大的问题还是自己内心不够强大,对将来没信心——总以为错过这次就再也没有机会找到真爱,再也没有机会遇到这么好的人。拜托,你爱的这么绝望,对对方来说都变成了一种负担,不把别人吓走才怪。再说,一个自怨自艾的人,一个让自己的情绪四处发泄而无力用理智来控制自己的人,会连自己都不爱这样的自己,又怎么期望别人爱你。

一个人只有自己强大了,才有能力把握住幸福。两个人的感情,其实就是两个人互相扶持,共同成长的过程。现在他不愿意和你一起成长,你就要自己做自己的事情,体验自己的人生。也许路转峰回,哪天再次遇到 ……

something sunny

D and his partner came to office today and asked me to talk in the hallway. Before I asked why he act so mystically, D told me that they would get merried in two weeks and invited me to their wedding ceremony.

This will be the third wedding ceremony which I attened here. The first two were warm and decent, and I believe this one will be the same as others. Best wishes.

coincidence

2009.04.13 we met.

2010.04.13 He signed the contract of work; I signed the landing paper. In another words, we connected with the same land, simultaneously and separately.

Life is full of encounter, separation and reunion.

In a very usual way

夜里总是人心最脆弱的时候,会梦到一些美好的东西,然后发现是一场梦而已。

这两天看了《nine》。情节不复杂,讲述一个浪子回头,从虚浮回归到沉静,从名利心回归到纯粹的故事。——那种纯粹,也就是一个人对事业最初始的热爱,专注和天真。

里面有首歌很喜欢,听了很多次。那些要说的话都被它说干净了,所以有些无话可说。

“Unusual Way”
Written by Maury Yeston
Performed by Nicole Kidman

In a very unusual way one time I needed you.
In a very unusual way you were my friend.
Maybe it lasted a day, maybe it lasted an hour.
But, somehow it will never end.

In a very unusual way I think I‘m in love with you.
In a very unusual way I want to cry.
Something inside me goes weak,
Something inside me surrenders.
And you’re the reason why,
You’re the reason why

You don’t know what you do to me,
You don’t have a clue.
You can’t tell what its lik ……

conversation on Thursdays

D said that you should not talk with him any more once you guys broke up. However, I still talked with him on these two Thursdays.

The funny part of these conversation are: I talked about some history to prove that we did have feelings while he tried to explain them in another way. For example, I told him that we had talked with each other for 1 hour every day when he was in Europe while he explained that he just wanted to get help on the application of post-doc.

The conversation is interesting. I feel more and more contempt for him either because he is distorting the history or because he felt so comfortable to say that he has used me. I may free myself from the grief a little bit more easily using the contempt feeling as a trick. However, I don’t think that the contempt feeling is healthy since it may weaken my belief in people.

I’ll see what will happen if such kind of funny conversation could continue.

rattle…

D once helped me analyze the situlation. D said that ZC was so confused that he could not make a real decision for the relationship. As I looked back today, I found that his draw-back action always happened when he was in China. The pressure prevented him from communicating with me freely, so he told me last Thursday that he didn’t wanna talk with me so frequently. However, we almost talked every day when he was in Europe.

In short, to grow up is painful; to clear one’s mind of doubts about future is hard. However, I have to grow up either there is a company or not.

break-up II

There are five stages in the Kübler-Ross model: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and accept.

The whole process of dealing with break-up for me started from last October. I denied the situation that he was not that into me; I felt angry when he reneged; I bargained with him for having a trip here to see if the relationship could work out or not. However, He did not wanna do anything for the relationship. I felt depressed but finally accepted the situation and started to move on.

I offered him my help if he need it in future and will try to treat him as a friend. At least, it is very meaningful experience for me.

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